How to be optimistic 4 best steps for better living

How to be optimistic 4 best steps for better livingHow to be optimistic 4 best steps for better livingShouldyou see aglass as half empty or half full?If you want to live a better life, and you care what research has to say, theres a clear answer to this question half full.Scientific research has come up with a longlist of benefits to being optimistic. Here are just a fewOptimism is associated withbetterhealthandalongerlife.Research has shownthat practicing optimism and gratitudecauses (not just correlates with) an increase in happiness.The army teaches soldiers to be optimistic becauseit makes them tougher and mora persistent.Being socially optimistic - expecting people to like you - makes people like you mora.Expecting a positive outcome from negotiations made groupsmore likely to come to a deal and to be happy with it.Optimists are luckier.Research showsby thinking positive they persevere and create more opportunities for themselves.Optimistic salespeopleare more successful.The li stgoes on and on. Being optimistic is one of theten things I recommend you do every dayand somethingassociated with great lives.On the flip side,UPenn professor and happiness expertMartin Seligmanexplainspessimismis very oftena negativeResearch has revealed, predictably, that pessimism is maladaptive in most endeavorsPessimistic life insurance agents make fewer sales attempts, are less productive and persistent, and quit more readily than optimistic agents. Pessimistic undergraduates get lower grades, relative to their SATs and past academic record, than optimistic studentsBut it turns out many of the common methods forbecomingmore positive are bunk. Standing in front of the mirror saying cheerythings doesnt help.ViaLearned OptimismPessimists can in fact learn to be optimists, and not through mindless devices like whistling a happy tune or mouthing platitudes (Every day, in every way, Im getting better and better), but by learning a new set of cognitive skills We have found that mer ely repeating positive statements to yourself does not raise mood or achievement very much, if at all.So are we doomed if were not naturally optimistic?Dont worry, Frodo, well get you back to the Shire.Here are the 4 steps that can turn pessimists into optimists - or even make mildly positive peopleverypositive.The 3 PsIt all comes down to whatresearcherscall explanatory style.When bad things happen, what kind of story do you tell yourself?There are three important elements here. Lets call them the 3 Ps permanence, pervasiveness and whether its partal.Pessimists tell themselves that bad eventsWill belastung a long time, or forever. (Illneverget this done.)Are universal. (You cant trustanyof those people.)Are their own fault. (Imterrible at this.)Optimists, well, they see it the exactoppositeBad things are temporary. (That happensoccasionallybut its no big deal.)Bad things have a specific cause and arent universal. (When theweatherisbetter that wont be a problem.)Its not their fault . (Im good at this buttoday wasnt my lucky day.)SeligmanexplainsThe defining characteristic of pessimists is that they tend to believe bad events will last a long time, will undermine everything they do, and are their own fault. The optimists, who are confronted with the same hard knocks of this world, think about misfortune in the opposite way. They tend to believe defeat is just a temporary setback, that its causes are confined to this one case. The optimists believe defeat is not their fault Circumstances, bad luck, or other people brought it about. Such people are unfazed by defeat. Confronted by a bad situation, they perceive it as a challenge and try harder.And when good things happen, the situation reversesPessimists think good things will be short-lived, are rare and random.Optimists think good things will last forever, are universal and of their own doing.Whats the ultimate result of this? Pessimists often quit. Life feels futile. And when life feels futile, you stop trying and frequently get depressed.So now we understand the kind of thinking that underlies these positions but how do you go from one to the other?Research shows you should act like a crazy person Okay, Ill be more specific.Argue With YourselfHow do you train a puppy not to poop on the carpet? It helps tocatch him in the act.When things dont go your way, that voice in your head is going to tell astory.Check which style its using.Is itsaying bad things are going to be permanent and universal? Are you blaming yourself? Thats pessimism.Watch your thinking and flip the script on the threeChange permanent explanations to more fleeting ones.Change pervasive responses to specific ones.Change personal reasoning to not-all-my-fault perspectives.This doesnt have to mean lying to yourself.Do you really alwaysscrew this up? Thats probably not accurate. Was it100%your fault? Almosteverythinghas multiple causes.By remembering the 3 Ps and flipping the script,researchshows you can make yourself more o ptimistic over time.But that raises an interesting question why would anyoneeverwant to be pessimistic? Theres a reason.Pessimists Are More Accurate ButPay A High PricePlain and simple, pessimists see the world more accurately than optimists do.ViaLearned OptimismOverall, then, there is clear evidence that nondepressed people distort reality in a self-serving direction and depressed people tend to see reality accurately.Wow. So when negative people say happy people are lying to themselves sometimes theyre right.The reason you predict your friends behavior better than they dois were allrealistic about others actions and too optimisticabout our own.And if youre in a job where seeing potential problems is vital and there are high costs to being wrong, pessimism can help you.ViaLearned Optimismjudiciously employed, mild pessimism has its uses.The company also needs its pessimists, the people who have an accurate knowledge of present realities. They must make sure grim reality continuall y intrudes upon the optimists. The treasurer, the CPAs, the financial vice-president, the business administrators, the safety engineers- all these need an accurate sense of how much the company can afford, and of danger. Their role is to caution, their banner is the yellow flag.Pessimistic entrepreneurs aremore likely to succeed. Optimistic gamblerslose more money. The best lawyers arepessimists.In his bookAuthentic Happiness, Seligman explainsPessimism is seen as a plus among lawyersThe ability to anticipate the whole range of problems and betrayals that non-lawyers are blind to is highly adaptive for the practicing lawyer who can, by so doing, help his clients defend against these far-fetched eventualities.But while it makes lawyersbetter at their job, it comes at a high price.Guess why lawyers are3.6 times more likely to suffer from depressionand more likely to end up divorced?While seeing bad things as potentially pervasive and permanent helps them do their job, it alsocarries over to their personal lifeThe ability to anticipate the whole range of problems and betrayals that non-lawyers are blind to is highly adaptive for the practicing lawyer who can, by so doing, help his clients defend against these far-fetched eventualities. If you dont have this prudence to begin with, law school will seek to teach it to you. Unfortunately, though, a trait that makes you good at your profession does not always make you a happy human being.Excuse the pun, but thereisan upside to pessimism. Sowhen should yoube optimistic and when should you be pessimistic?Ask Yourself Whats The Cost Of Being Wrong Here?If Im up for double murder I want a pessimistic attorney looking for all theproblemsin mycase.The engineer designing my car better be a rampant pessimist - his mind eagerly identifyingevery imaginablepoint of failure.But do I want to walk around all day imagining the worst that could possibly happen?No way.Whenever youre unsure if optimism is the right way to handle som ething ask yourselfWhats the cost of being wronghere?ViaLearned OptimismThe fundamental guideline for not deploying optimism is to ask what the cost of failure is in the particular situation. If the cost of failure is high, optimism is the wrong strategy. The pilot in the cockpit deciding whether to de-ice the plane one more time, the partygoer deciding whether to drive home after drinking, the frustrated spouse deciding whether to start an affair that, should it come to light, would break up the marriage should not use optimism. Here the costs of failure are, respectively, death, an auto accident, and a divorce. Using techniques that minimize those costs is inappropriate. On the other hand, if the cost of failure is low, use optimism.Seligman calls this balance flexible optimism.Pessimism is a tool. Have it in the garage like a snowblower.You dont need it every day but occasionally its valuable to have around.So how do we tie all this together?Summing UpWant to be more positive? Wh en problems arise, dispute negative thoughts by making sure your explanations areTransitory, not permanent.Specific, not pervasive.And the causes are external, not all-my-fault.Pessimism can be a useful tool when the downside is big, but used as your default it makes lifefeel futile and hopeless.And what does research say predicts achievement better than intelligence, grades or personality?Hope.Theres a reason pessimism brings us down human nature is designed to hope and strive, not to be fearful and defensive.Yes, pessimism might be slightly more accurate - but its no way to live a life.Join over 315,000 readers. Get a free weekly update via email here.Related postsNew Neuroscience Reveals 4 Rituals That Will Make You HappyNew Harvard Research Reveals A Fun Way To Be More SuccessfulHow To Get People To Like You 7 Ways From An FBI Behavior ExpertThis article originally appeared at Barking Up the Wrong Tree.